26 June 2017
I felt so troubled after being at this school we visited in the slums of Nairobi but at the moment I could not put reason behind it all. Today it all came together, there is corruption in the leader of the school, yet a foundation that is trying to partner with us continues to give money to the dean money. Of the money they give half goes in his pocket and the other portion goes to the orphans and improving the school. The children sleep in rooms the size of a large closet with bunk beds and sometimes are stacked up to 3. They only have sheets, they have no lights and some children even have to share a twin bed. They have no space for their belongings (if they have any) some don’t even have soap and have only ripped tattered uniforms to live in. The money they donate does not add up to the living conditions of these children, and they are mixing street children with orphans in the same room. Then to hear one was abused by a teacher days before his exam to see if he could get scholarships for high school. Yet this organization refuses to see these things, they do not step in but instead continue to give funding to this corrupt and cruel man. I do not trust their judgment on people anymore, or their work. The school for Gods sake has peeling paint everywhere, no electricity, no computers and yet they think their work is doing so well. I cannot even fathom it. It is like he is walking all over these children for his own profit. I suppose my take away from this is to be careful who you donate your money to because your money is powerful.
Currently Listening to The Universe Smiles Upon You by Khuangbin, and trying to calm down a bit
It is my 7th day in Kenya and today I am upset. I am once again surrounded by men, I feel like I am always either around small children or men.
We began our school visit by having a little meeting and one of the fellows I was with went on a long aside during a meeting about what he looks for in students he would sponsor. He talked about how he wants someone with big dreams that have already taken steps to achieving their dreams and have done all they can. Yet when he was talking instead of using the words like them or student he specifically said man every time and then said he “hopes I find one like that someday too”. In the moment I chuckled and I am mad at myself for that. I wish I had the words to say what I believe. After that we toured the school some and then had lunch. At lunch the head master made a comment on how Paul should not be helping with cooking lunch, and that it gives woman pride and joy to cook and take care of men. You cannot make statements like that. I do not want to deny that it does give some woman joy and may give them joy from time to time, but maybe not all the time. There should not be a cookie cutter mold for what a woman should do and be and feel. I have been hanging out with so many men I just need some woman. Most of the time we do not spend much time with the woman because they are cooking and cleaning and the men are the ones showing the visitors around.
In time I will be successful, bold, powerful, help girls dream big, help men be feminist to not conform to traditional masculinity. That men feel like they can be emotional that they value family and marriage, that they can follow what they want no matter what and for girls to be able to dream big and to do what they want as well. In the moment I will speak my mine more.